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Suzanne: Virtual Coaching Session # 1From lost and exhausted to clear and energized.A regular column by Sarah Pond, Feb 08, 2004
Pseudonym: Suzanne Age: 35 Family situation: Mother of two (ages 8 and 14). Separated from husband of 10 years, divorce pending. Relationship: Has boyfriend, age 50, and father of 3. Suzanne does not live with her boyfriend. Career: Due to be laid off shortly from a full time job in social services. Suzanne feels unfulfilled, unchallenged and frustrated in this job, but is anxious about losing it. She lives in a rural, economically depressed region; jobs are scarce. Quotes: “I don’t know what’s next”. “I feel negative about all these obstacles”. “It all depends on money”. Coaching agenda: To get clarity on what’s next. To feel more positive and motivated about goals. To overcome obstacles. To get finances in order. After my first session with Suzanne, I saw that this is a usually energetic, focused, positive dynamo who was “lost” and “exhausted” in the chaos of career transition, an acrimonious divorce/custody situation, a tumultuous new relationship, and significant money struggles. Suzanne was feeling worn out, frazzled, and didn’t know where to turn. With just a few of my questions, Suzanne was able to shift her focus quickly from all the obstacles, challenges and confusion in her life to what it was that she really wanted. With an exercise called “Your Ideal Day”, Suzanne described in vivid detail the activities, environments, and company that she would enjoy during a perfect day in her ideal life. She felt energized after this exercise, and said that she was surprised by some of the details. Most importantly, Suzanne learned that what she craved most was not things, places, or circumstances, but instead, a certain set of feelings. What Suzanne really wants, she realized, is to “experience confidence, security, abundance, and comfort every day”
I asked her what decisions she would make today if she already were confident, secure, abundant, and comfortable. Suzanne instantly came up with several action steps regarding pursuing a new job, asking for support in her relationship, and budgeting her money. Instead of frantically doing things with the vague hope that she would feel better, Suzanne identified exactly how she wants to feel and took action from that place. Basically, she began to BE the person she longed to be, and then decided what to DO. Being first, doing next. Suzanne began to make two key shifts from this session: 1)She shifted her focus from her struggles to what she really wants. 2)She shifted from “doing” to “being”. I requested that Suzanne continue to get brilliantly clear on her goals. She agreed that she would write down specifically what she wanted to achieve and to keep focused on these goals. I promised that next session, we will jump head-first into the principles and practice of Abundance. All the best, Sarah
Next: Suzanne: Virtual Coaching Session #2
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