Clarifying Who You Are Seeking

Other people cannot create what they want as easily. They must first get clear about what they want, and then take action. If you are this type of person and are single, you are likely using classified ads, online dating services and other singles-related avenues to meet your ideal mate. If so, the following set of guidelines will help you create an attractive, powerful and effective singles ad or listing by helping you clearly define who you are seeking.

If you prefer not to use singles ads to attract a mate, you still need to be very clear about who you are seeking in order to attract your ideal partner. Below, you will find a set of steps to help you clarify who you are seeking for a relationship.

First, keep the following three points in mind:

1. Even when you are taking action to find a partner, you won't actually "find" a partner. You have to attract one, draw one to you. This does not mean you shouldn't take action; it is simply something to be aware of.
   
2. You attract what you believe. In terms of intimate relationships, often you will attract people who reflect the untransformed part of you. If you want to save time and aggravation, work on yourself and your relationship patterns before you begin trying to find or attract a partner.
   
3. Be clear on who you are, what you want and can offer in a relationship. Be complete with your past. Be clear about your past relationship patterns and why they are/were here. Take my free "True Love Magnet(tm) Quiz" to learn what you need to do in order to attract your ideal partner. If you do not score well on the quiz, your search for a mate may yield a relationship similar to what you have had in the past.
   

Steps for writing an ad or a listing to attract your ideal mate:

1. Write down the qualities of your ideal partner. Be as specific as possible.
   
2. What type of person would your ideal partner be attracted to? Looking through your ideal partner's eyes, make your best guess and write it down. Don't automatically assume all of the qualities will describe you. Be as specific as possible.

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3. Does the list in #2 describe you? If not, are you willing to grow and change so that it does? If not, go back and rewrite your description of your ideal partner and describe a person who will be attracted to the qualities you have.
   
4. Pick out the most meaningful, attractive qualities you wrote down in #2 and use them to write a description of yourself. This will be the first part of your classified ad or listing. The length of the description will depend on where you are placing the ad.
   
5. Write a detailed description of the type of relationship you want.
   
6. Would your ideal partner in #1 want the same type of relationship? If not, start over. If yes, what would appeal to him/her the most? What words could you use to describe the essence of the relationship you envision?
   
7. In the second section of your ad or listing, make an offer specifically targeted to your ideal partner. Incorporate items from #6 into your offer. For example, if you think clear communication would be appealing to your ideal partner, and it is something you both want and are able to give, your offer may sound something like, "In this relationship you can have the best communication of your life."
   
8. Finish your ad or listing with a request to contact you, in a way appropriate for the medium you are using.
   

1. Write down the qualities of your ideal partner. Be as specific as possible.
   
2. What type of person would your ideal partner be attracted to? Looking through your ideal partner's eyes, make your best guess and write it down. Don't automatically assume all of the qualities will describe you. Be as specific as possible.
   
3. Does the list in #2 describe you? If not, are you willing to grow and change so that it does? If not, go back and rewrite your description of your ideal partner and describe a person who will be attracted to the qualities you have.
   
4. Write a detailed description of the type of relationship you want.
   
5. Would your ideal partner in #1 want the same type of relationship? If not, start over. If yes, then you now have an effective description of who you are seeking for a relationship.
   
6. Do not engage, date, or be intimate with people who do not fit your ideal description.
   

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2001. Do you know what it takes to be happy and fulfilled in your relationships? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!