Public Displays of Affection

Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch and proclaimed undying love for Katie Holmes. Whether this made you smile or made you gag, odds are good that Tom got a whopping big bunch of Frequent Foreplay Miles from Ms. Katie and, after all, isn’t that what really counts?

You’re not likely to find yourself on Oprah’s stage. But, like Tom, you should publicly display your affection for your sweetheart. Why? Because Public Displays of Affection:

• Tell others to back off . . . this one is taken.
• Reinforce your mutual love, support, and loyalty.
• And, most importantly, provide public validation of lovability.

When your honey curls an arm around your waist as you walk down the street, it’s like wearing a sandwich board that says, “Hey, look everybody! I’m loveable!” This bolsters your self-esteem and self-respect. Is there a better gift than that? I don’t think so.

PDAs don’t have to be Tom Cruise big and bold. A subtle gesture can be the most eloquent. Phil and Sherry had been dating for just a short time when they unexpectedly came face-to-face with Phil’s ex-wife at a party. Phil calmly introduced Sherry to his former wife, put his arm around Sherry’s shoulder and then left it there until long after the ex had moved on. Phil delivered exactly the right message to both Sherry and his ex.

As Tom Cruise demonstrated, affection can be publicly displayed without touching and even when your sweetheart is nowhere to be seen. You are publicly declaring your affection when you:

• Send flowers to her office.
• Display your sweetheart’s picture in your office.
• Shout for joy when he slides into home base.
• Wink at your sweetheart from across a crowded room.
• Brag about your honey’s promotion.
• Refill her wine glass at a dinner party.
• Remain charming at his corporate or family event, no matter how boring it may be.
• Send a fax to her office with an arrow-pierced heart and your initials in the middle.
• Give a gift that can be worn or displayed.

The opportunities to earn Frequent Foreplay Miles by publicly displaying your affection are limitless. Take a minute and jot down ten ways in which your sweetheart has publicly demonstrated affection for you. Give your honey a bucketful of Frequent Foreplay Miles and then go show your appreciation with a private display of your affection!

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Reverse PDAs result in dings to your FFM account. Remember Phil and Sherry? If, instead of putting his arm around Sherry’s shoulder, Phil took a small step away from Sherry, he would have delivered a completely different message to both Sherry and the ex. That’s called a Reverse Public Display of Affection.

Valerie attended one of my FFM workshops and shared that her ex-husband Brian kept a picture of his ex in his office. Admittedly, the ex was included in a larger group of people but it irked Valerie to no end. She agreed that the most civilized way to handle it would have been to initiate The Talk, but she found it far more satisfying to add unwanted facial hair to the ex with a marking pen. Valerie reasoned that if Brian immediately noticed but failed to find her art work amusing, then perhaps his ex-wife wasn’t as much of an ex as she should have been!

Reverse PDAs include:

• Publicly criticizing your sweetheart.
• Teasing or humor that makes your sweetie the butt of the joke or an object of ridicule.
• Correcting or interrupting your sweetheart in public.
• Getting drunk at his holiday office party or family gathering.
• Flirting with her friends.
• Failure to show your sweetie common courtesy.

Because they add the insult of public humiliation to the injury of hurt, Reverse PDAs knock the heck out of your Frequent Foreplay Miles account. And, more importantly, they undermine your sweetheart’s self-respect and self-esteem.

Your relationship is visible to the world. Because it is a fact of human nature that we filter how we feel about ourselves through how others treat us, you are giving your sweetheart a priceless gift when your behavior makes your sweetheart feel the love and supports his or her self-esteem and self-respect.

Doing it publicly is the shiny ribbon on the package.

For more information on Frequent Foreplay Miles, visit www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com/.