How Do You Know When Love Is Real?

I awoke this morning with long awaited Springtime rays of sunlight streaming through the shades of my windows. I lay still for a long moment, basking in the sheer pleasure of warmth while being caught up in the spirit of thankfulness,self love, appreciating life...Anticipating a summer filled with adventure, friendships and perhaps, a love connection.

Needless to say, after a vigorating shower and a gradual return to reality, I began to wonder about this love thing.How will I know when I've met the man I'm destined to spend the rest of my life with? In the words of Whitney Houston, " How will I know if he truly loves me?"

Women worldwide have at some point in their lives, been faced with this question. Men I'd formed serious relationships with in the past would often tell me how much they loved me, yet, their actions would somehow spoil those enduring sentiments. This journey into the second phase of life, teaches me how to discern words from deeds.

It is easy for anyone to say 'I love you', but,what are his actions showing me in regards to his telling me? Some men maybe clueless when it comes to 'proving' their love...My mama used to say, "Honey, the proof is in the pudding."

How does he treat his mother? Siblings? The elderly? Is he courteous to others? Does he use profane/inflammatory language in his speech? Does the man that tells you he loves you, exhibit signs of anger, frustration, careless behaviors? Is he someone you'd trust with your children? Would you take him home to meet your parents?

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Of course, relationships take time to form. Women shoudn't expect a man to bring to the table what she, herself is lacking. It works both ways. Women have to exhibit those same qualities in herself that she looks for in a man.

I've learned that coming to terms with who we are; learning to love ourselves and working on our shortcoming only makes us better.

Therefore, the man of your dreams, sees and comes to know the truth of who you are; will want to become the best of himself, thereby, offering the best of his love to you.

Understanding that with age, comes wisdom and that for many younger women, the proof is oftentimes overlooked in seeking to make a love connection. I write this column as a pre-requisite of sorts for all women forming relationships; who sense the need for answers to this thing called 'love.'

Clara B.Freeman is an advocate for women, children and the elderly. A nurse, poet/freelance writer and columnist, she writes and counsels from living life experiences. To read more of her work, visit her website http://www.clarawriter.com