Not For Emergencies Only

Look, I don’t know that I really want to go that far, but I will say it definitely has therapeutic applications.

Understand that I in no way mean to present myself as a therapist or mental health professional. Therefore you are advised to seek the help of a medical professional if you need advice regarding your specific situation.

Mental Health is an area that I am deeply interested in as a scientific undertaking in holistic approaches to sociology. I also think it offers a great deal of promise in developing community programs that address root causes on an individual level to eliminate persistent social ills.

I know from personal experience that people are very defensive about the patterns of behavior that have limited their experience of success. However, there is usually significantly more willingness to deal with such issues if making money is at stake.

I think that most of us try to camouflage our greed, the need to be loved, and the need to be in control with sex and passive aggressive tendencies. While I don’t condone surrendering to any self defeating impulse I do think being honest with yourself about them is a requirement.

If you were to be really honest, how many of your relationships are truly intimate? How aware are you of the methods you use to manipulate others? Or the real needs that drives such manipulation?

I’d like to interject here some of the models and theories that have deeply influenced my understanding of community mental health and my interest in the topic in general.

In fact, inspiring me to develop expressive therapy programs that were founded on economic development and creative expression. Rather than having your world defined by a set of medical/psychological precepts, I favor intervention/prevention based on models that facilitate your innate understanding of the experiences you create.

Humanistic/Existential Counseling Models
share the following assumptions and characteristics:
1. Theory is an equal and genuine relationship between the therapist and client.
2. Emphasis on the “wholeness” and uniqueness of the person.
3. People have an inherent potential for self-actualization.
4. Subjective experience determines behavior; thus to understand a person, we must understand his or her subjective experience.
5. Emphasis on current behaviors (i.e., the here-and-now). Traditional assessment techniques and diagnostic label are rejected.

Client-Centered Therapy (Rogers)
A. Personality Theory
1. The principal concept is the “self”. To self-actualize the self must remain unified and organized.
2. The self becomes disorganized when there is incongruence between the self and the experience.
3. A person feels anxiety when there is incongruence between self and experience, and this signals that the unified self is in jeopardy. The person may then attempt to eliminate the anxiety by using defensive strategies such as denial and perceptual distortion. These reduce anxiety for a time, but inhibit self-actualization.
4. The need for positive regard is universal.
B. Therapy. The goal is to help the client achieve congruence between self and experience of self that he or she can become a more fully functioning, self-actualizing person.
1. The “right environment” involves thee facilitative conditions:
a. Accurate Empathetic Understanding
b. Unconditional Positive Regard
c. Genuineness
2. Therapy is “client centered” and “non-directive”.

Reality Therapy (Glasser)
A. Personality Theory
1. Identity is a universal psychological need that is present throughout life and compromised of two interrelated needs—a need for love and a need to feel worthwhile.
2. There are two types of identity:
a. People with a success identity feel capable, competent, worthwhile, and loved.
b. People with a failure identity feel hopeless, unworthy, and unloved.
3. Responsibility is a key concept in reality therapy. It is defined as “the ability to fulfill one’s needs, and to do so in a way that does not deprive others of the ability to fulfill their needs” (Glasser, 1965,p.13).

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Rational-Emotive Therapy (Ellis)
A. Theoretical Constructs
1. Assumes that the primary cause of neurosis is the continual repetition of irrational ideas.
2. View behavior as a chain of events. Thus, assumes that a person’s emotional or behavioral response to an external event is due to his thoughts and beliefs about the event rather than the event itself.
B. Therapy.
1. Two events are added to the chain, change of the irrational ideas, and alternative thoughts and beliefs that result.
2. Identification of irrational beliefs that underlie emotional problem and replace with more appropriated ones by:
a. Being active and confrontative.
b. Using techniques such as modeling, problem solving, and cognitive assignments.
Particularly effective for treating anxiety related disorders. (i.e. anger management)

Many of the people I’ve worked with are actually enraged (silently) that even having gone to such lengths, having repressed so much of who they are…yet, the other person still fails to deliver the depth of connection that is actually desired or worse rejects them all together.

Eventually, you reach the point where you get sick and tired of being frustrated or depressed. That is the time when you’re ripe for change, not because there is something wrong with you, but because you must choose a different course of action if you want a different experience.

The funny thing I’ve observed in that regard is that often you say you want to change but when faced with changing something you identify with, some self-sabotage mode of behavior that constantly results in destruction …it’s possible you may decide you are convinced that’s who you are.

How often have you justified such behavior by saying something like, “I can’t help it. That’s who I am.” It is the person that stays stuck there that may choose not to stretch your arms out to embrace success.

Therefore it has been generally more productive to focus on small business development as the platform for personal development. It is ideal for an approach that builds on successes and teaches the subtle points of joy and self esteem. Best of all it reinforces what I think is at the heart of any recovery or success, you must be your own best ally.

Paradoxically, no relationship with any other will live up to its potential until you heal the one you have with yourself. Because it is only when you have done so that you can let go of the fear and know that you cannot control the choices of others.

The personal relationship advantages probably seem pretty obvious, but among them are:
· More genuine and fulfilling relationships
· You’ll understand how to use relationship valuation
· You’ll know precisely how to prevent relationships that sabotage your goals
· Less stress and anger
· More effective communication
· You’ll know how to use thought leadership and relationship marketing concepts to create more productive and harmonious relationships
· Effortlessly improves time management and strategic planning

One of the saddest things I’ve seen is the amount of money that is spent on years of therapy and yet the most obvious obstacles haven’t been dealt with yet. It seems what essentially amounts to sedation is a frequent answer, but that adds additional treatment cost and still ignores the problem. Personally, I found this unacceptable because the root of the issue was my relationship to me and that was pretty inexpensive to repair. I know today I’d demand better ROI for my time and money.

Another advantage of the focus on entrepreneurship is that doesn’t attract the person who is just looking for someone to listen and validate his or her victimization. Instead the emphasis attracts those who are truly ready to create a better experience for themselves. Those who’ve decided to choose success and are ready to commit action to the quest.

I’ve said it before in previous articles, that I am not minimizing or denying that awful things happen to people sometimes, but at some point we all have to get on with our lives. There’s no trying, there’s only do and don’t do. And when you’re ready for that, look me up.