Choose Change

During the 1980s, when I was leading teams of sales people in the high tech industry, I remember a familiar cliché I once used to begin a sales presentation: The only constant we can depend upon is change. Even in the fast-paced, ever-evolving environment of technology, people resisted change. It was so much more comfortable and safe to hang on to what they knew. It was, and is, human nature. Holding on to the past— regardless of whether it was painful or glorious—is like swimming upstream with cement shoes. You’ll eventually sink to the bottom, hopelessly fighting the natural current of life—unless you choose to lose the shoes and point your feet downstream. When my family was hit with tragic illness, all I wanted was my perfect life back. Before the hospitals and nursing homes. Before the battles with doctors and insurance companies. Before the rancid smell of sickness and grinding noises of life support. After a while, I realized I had three choices. I could live in the past and be angry over the events that had fallen upon my family. I could live in the future and worry about what terrible thing could happen next. Or, I could adapt to my new life and accept each day as it came. I had no control of these changes that leapt into my life, including the four subsequent family deaths that followed. However, I did have control over how I chose to embrace them or not—making them a part of my life, not something that was happening outside of it. No day is exactly like another. We’re constantly challenged to adjust in a changing environment. Some of those changes are small, and we manage them without a thought—a delayed meeting time, a cold, a rainy day. Some are huge—a death, a marriage, a move. Either way, they are all just moments. Moments that dissolve into new moments. Nothing is permanent. Your house, your car, your jewelry and your money are merely props given to you to help you navigate through life. These too shall pass. You don’t know when. It could take a lifetime or just a day, but once you accept the impermanence of life, you also accept that anything can vanish in a moment, including your own life. It’s impossible to prepare for unexpected changes, but when they come (and they will), you should welcome them and learn. Regardless of whether these changes are joyful or devastating, they will always advance you to another step on your life’s path. Thankfully, life continues to happen. If you can adapt with it, your journey will be much happier.

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Five ways to choose change in your life: • Live in the present moment; it’s the only place you can affect change. • When something bad happens, ask yourself what you can learn from it. • Accept that any plan you make may change. • Be open-minded to other’s attitudes, opinions, and ways of doing things. • Stop trying to control everything that happens in life—you can’t.