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You are here: Alumbo! Self-Help Supersite > Item Detail Page 
Relationship-MakingAn Exercise in Communicating Your Relationship Needs
From Relationship Advice from the Relationship Coach,A regular column by Rinatta Paries, Jan 31, 2002 
Do you know how to establish a new relationship to guarantee that it will meet all of your and your partner's relationship needs? Most people don't know how to do this. As a result, most relationships go through a predictable cycle:
To avoid this cycle and establish a nourishing relationship for both of you, you and your partner need to have a deep, extended conversation. It may span many discussions, perhaps over weeks or even a month. The right time to initiate this conversation is when it's clear to both of you there is mutual interest and both of you are ready to go further. However, it is never too late to have this conversation, even if you have been together for years. Cover the following topics in this conversation:
While having this conversation, it is important that you both listen to each other intently, frequently paraphrasing what the other person is saying. You want to make sure there is mutual understanding. You both will want to reflect on what is being said by sharing your thoughts and feelings. However, under no circumstances do you
If in the end you both decide you have enough in common to pursue the relationship further, you will need to negotiate how the relationship is actually conducted. You will need to agree, I know this probably sounds very unromantic, almost artificial. But believe me, this is how the best relationships are created. The two of you are much better off entering a relationship with your eyes open, knowing what is expected of you, what you can expect in return, what you can count on from your relationship. This extended conversation allows for the absence of power struggle. It fosters harmony and ease of being together. It will give the two of you the rare opportunity to establish deep Your Relationship Coach, (c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
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