Is A Negative Mindset Making Your Child's ADD Worse?

Children with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder often have a very negative attitude toward school and life in general.

Because of their inability to concentrate, sit still, wait their turn as well as their lack of impulse control they frequently get into trouble at home, at school and with his peers. This constant negative feedback lowers his self-confidence and self-esteem and after repeatedly failing he gives up attempting to succeed at all. This learned helplessness permeates every aspect of his life and causes parents and teachers to wring their hands together in despair because he is 'so unmotivated' or 'just won't try.'

What they fail to realize is that the child has tried to succeed many times but was met with failure over and over again, and has now begun to accept defeat without a struggle.

What can you do for such a child?

First and foremost ACCEPT HIM AS HE IS, warts and all. He's not perfect, just human.

As a parent give your child unconditional love, love with no strings attached. Don't ever make the mistake of telling him that you'll love him more if he excels in school or sport etc. Remove all pressure to be perfect from him and teach him by word and example that it's OK to make mistakes and fail.

Show him lot's of affection in a 'love language' that he understands. Read the excellent book "The 5 Love Languages of Children" available at Amazon for a thorough understanding of love languages and how to make sure your child feels love.

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Find something that your child can do well in. It could be anything from cooking to computers to art or sport or even a hobby like woodwork or fishing. Help him to develop a high degree of competence in this chosen field whilst guarding against pushing him too much. A word of warning: The activity must be one of the childs' choosing and something that he enjoys. It's OK for him to try several things before deciding on what he wants to become an 'expert' in.

Praise him when he does something right. Don't forget to praise him even for his attempts to get something right, even if it's not perfect. 'I really appreciate the effort you put into......." or 'I'm so proud of you for trying so hard to.....' are music to this child's ears and an incentive for him to try hard in the future.

Helping your child turn a negative mindset into a positive, optimistic one is one of the greatest gifts you can give your ADD child, or any child for that matter.

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