The Reluctant Writer

A feature article by pamelaw, Apr 10, 2008         

The Reluctant Writer by Pamela White

Since the age of 9, I've been a writer. I wrote secret stories, secret newsletters, and secret novels about solving mysteries with Nancy Drew during my first year of writing. I loved telling a story, dreaming up new ideas, places and people, and rereading what I had written.

I just never wanted anyone else to read it.

A few decades later, I was chatting on a message board for writers about how I struggled to send my writing out. I still submitted regularly but it was an excruciatingly difficult step for me to take…and I did take it, week after week. I hated that sharing my words made me feel so vulnerable. One woman wrote me back, not with advice, but with such joy in her tone. She told me she wished I could be in her writing group. Then I'd know that writing wasn't hard but only exhilarating and wonderful, easy and something anyone could do.

I dropped off the list.

While I've not found a way to make it perfectly easy to share my writing with the world, I have learned a new skill set that has pushed me forward, even as I wanted to retreat back into my shell. Thanks to some coaching, some tears, and lots of meditation (not medication!) I now write regularly, love to send it out for publication and cheer myself on as I cash the checks.

So for all the other reluctant writers hiding out there, I want to share the steps that have worked for me plus advice from writer friends.

1. Ask the all-important question: "What's the worst that could happen?" Basically, it's a rejection letter or perhaps total silence. Yes, it might hurt, but the person who chooses not to publish your short story doesn't know you so don't take it personally. It may feel personal, but it isn't. And, believe it or not, this editor will forget your name out of all the submissions received over the following year and will not hold your previous unwanted submission against you when reading your future submissions.

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2. Plan ahead. I learned this from a coach. I hired her to guide me through cleaning out my home, but ended up learning how to boost my writing. Sit down on a Sunday evening and think about what you want to write about. Make an educated guess about how long it will take to write the introduction, short story, entire article or book outline. If you think it will take three hours, then pick a day that week when you will have three free hours to work on it. If you pick Tuesday at 8 a.m., then organize your work space the night before. Make sure you have your address/phone book, pens and pads of paper, resource books, email addresses and anything else you need to be successful. Most important, keep your appointment to write that you've set with yourself.
3. Set a deadline. If you have trouble getting a free hour or two in the midst of your busy life and missing your self-imposed appointment to sit and write your article on Tuesday morning would make you feel worse than if you'd never made a plan, try another approach. Set a deadline for Friday at 8 p.m. each week to write 1000 words in your novel. This allows you to snatch at free minutes or work during a surprise nap (one that your child is taking, not you) throughout the week.
4. If you have too many ideas and too little time to write them all out, engage a friend or spouse to help you decide which one is the first project. Have your friend ask you, "Which one feels like it would be the most fun?." "Which one would give you the biggest pay off (in terms of money, happiness, publicity)?" "Which one have you done the most prep on?" If you keep picking the same topic, then clearly that's the one you should begin with.

If you're still having trouble writing with abandon, then make an appointment for an uninhibited free-writing session. Pull out your notebook, and, at the top of a page, write "What is keeping me from coming out of hiding?" Then let yourself write for ten minutes, or three pages, or until you find yourself explaining why you feel a need to continue to hide your writing. Then recognize that while your writing makes you feel vulnerable and that it is hard for you to write your truth, it would be more painful not to.

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