A Method to the Madness

Given a random eighty three people, one of them is affected by manic/depressive bi-polar disorder. I happen to be one of those people. Diagnosed almost five years ago, I spent years not knowing what was wrong with me, or that it even had a name. It can be a debilitating disease. You can be in complete bliss at times and then lose your temper upon the smallest of complications arising. There was a time when I would spend days at a time alone in my room, not speaking to or having contact with anyone. Bi-polar disorder has a profound effect on your social life, relationships, career, and how you view life. It will often cause you to feel as if you're living in a bubble with everyone else looking in, watching you, and judging you. Aside from medications, which cause more problems than they solve, there is no cure. The trick to living with this disease, in my opinion, is learning to use it to your advantage. Everyone finds his or her own way of doing so, my method has proven to be most effective. First of all, reject everyone else's reality and substitute your own. I happen to live in a world where everyone else is crazy, and I'm the only sane one. It works very well. No two human beings view the world in exactly the same way. For instance, if somebody were to describe a certain location to two random people, those two people would have completely different visualizations of that place floating around in their skulls. The secret here is to constantly remind yourself that you aren't responsible for living up to the standards of those around you, only your own. Set your own standards and goals, everyone else's be damned. That way, if you don't meet those standards, you don't feel like a disappointment to anybody. It simply means that you have areas to improve in, and doing so gives a profound sense of accomplishment. Also, think for yourself. Form your own opinions. Just because society has a common view about something doesn't make it official. Forming your own view of reality is highly effective. It allows you to have a stable, unchanging world where you feel comfortable. If you can maintain that state of mind, you can handle just about anything life throws at you. Now comes one of the tougher elements: having a sense of humor about yourself and developing your key philosophies. You have to work on this one second for one simple reason, you can't form a philosophy or a sense of humor without a world in which to practice them. People affected by bi-polar disorder often feel as if they are being left out, that others don't like them. That constant feeling can be a trigger for the depressive side of the whole deal. This is where an important philosophy comes in. If folks want to be your friend and reap the benefits of that, then great. If not, they aren't your problem and therefore don't require worrying about. Don't let those who don't like you affect you, it's their loss not yours. Another philosophy that has served me very well is to not let the small things that go wrong get to me. If your trip to the mountains is curtailed by having to work on short notice, so what? You can always go back another day. And look on the bright side, you're going to make more money that week than you thought you would. Having a sense of humor about yourself is both a key philosophy and a step all its own. If you can't laugh at yourself, you only get upset when others laugh at you. If you can, then you're just as amusing to yourself as you are to everyone else, and they can't use it against you. That sense of humor, in my opinion, should be as skewed as possible. Have some fun with it. Talk to yourself, it helps substantially. The looks you get from some people are quite amusing. Laugh even if nobody else thinks something's funny. Doesn't have to be loud. Remeber, you aren't crazy, you're just keeping yourself entertained, but "they" don't know that. Third is learning to control yourself in any given situation. No matter where you are and what is happening, being able to tell yourself to calm down and not "freak out" is paramount. I have trouble with being around large groups of people. What happens is equivalent to a panic attack. The hands get clammy, breathing becomes rapid, your chest tightens, and you start to feel as if everyone is fixated on what you're doing. If you can sit there and tell yourself, "this has happened before and everything turned out fine," everything will soon return to normal. Choosing your words carefully falls into this category as well. If someone happens to say something that makes you mad, take a moment and think before you go off on a rant, it'll keep you from losing your temper. If you should happen to be really mad and are about to "blow your top," simply excuse yourself from the situation. Confrontation should be avoided unless one-hundred percent mandatory. Self-discipline is one of the most useful things a person with bi-polar disorder can learn. It keeps you focused. Zen. Last and most important is learning the fine art of . . .whatever. Just find something you love doing. Anything that you can answer a few questions about: Will I do it without ever tiring of it? Will it always have something new to keep me interested? "What the heck are you talking about?" A hobby or activity that you can keep yourself from doing for profit. Whatever you find to occupy your neurons, do not do it for a living. That just makes it something else to worry about instead of something to take pleasure in. Not to imply that you should do something you dread for a living. Make a career of something you enjoy, but need a break from now and then. Finding such an undertaking gives you the knowledge that you know more about one thing than most people. A real confidence booster. Yes, it's a lot of work dealing with being a little nuts, but it's fun, too. There's a method to the madness. Always have a reason for what you do. Don't say something serious unless you mean it. Stick to your guns. Never stop watching saturday morning cartoons.You'll find that everything isn't as simple as it seems, and there's humor in just about anything. Sometimes it seems mean, but it's there nonetheless. Once you combine all the elements, the world starts to make sense again, and quickly. It allows you to be different, just like everybody else. They're just tools, but they're useful ones. Combining the steps brings you focus, confidence, a sense of worth, knowledge, and a core of beliefs you can stick to. Life's a trip, pack accordingly. Otherwise you go completely nuts, and it's "lock me up, scotty!"

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